


Maids of Dishonor

by Electra126



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-10
Updated: 2017-05-10
Packaged: 2018-10-30 03:14:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10867893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Electra126/pseuds/Electra126
Summary: Being a bridesmaid is hard work, especially when you have bachelorette party shenanigans to suppress, a missing minister to find, and a hickey to hide.





	Maids of Dishonor

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Fuffy Day on tumblr. The second half of the story is in progress and will be posted as soon as it's finished.

“How exactly is this going to work anyway?” Buffy asks. 

“Just like any other wedding, I’d imagine,” Willow replies easily. A thoughtful look crosses her face and then she adds, “Just with less groom, and double the bride.”

It’s just small talk, something to fill in the gaps in their busywork; the busywork being opening up response cards to Willow and Kennedy’s wedding and marking the “happily accepts” and “regretfully declines” off a long list of names. Unfortunately, the list of “regretfully declines” is trailing closely behind the “happily accepts” column. Maybe that’s because their families aren’t exactly close to Cleveland, or maybe – just maybe – it’s because it’s pretty difficult to market a lesbian wedding between a former-Jew-current-Wiccan and a lapsed-catholic-current-unbeliever.

Hallmark has cards for almost everything, but this one is a real doozy for sure.

“No, I understand that part,” Buffy says. “It’s the whole Maid of Honor thing. Call me old fashioned, but there can only be one, and it’s me. If I’m yours, what is Kennedy calling Faith?”

“Well,” Willow begins, “Faith objected to Best Man, but not nearly as much as she objected to Best Bitch. They’re currently messing around with titles, but I think they’ve pretty much settled on . . .”

**********

“Maid of Dishonor,” Faith says, looking over Giles’ shoulder as he writes carefully in calligraphy on a sample wedding program. “And remember, you’re in America, buddy. You can leave the ‘u’ out of honor.”

Giles bites his tongue, holding back the obvious reply about there being no ‘you’ in honor when it comes to Faith and this whole title she and Kennedy devised together.

“I suppose ‘Groomsperson’ was too outrageous to consider,” he says instead.

“Not my style, G.”

Faith claps her hands on his shoulder, then stands up straight and heads over to the desk where Kennedy and Xander are huddled in front of her laptop.

“How we doin’ over here?” she asks. 

“Just about to find out . . . now,” Xander replies excitedly. He hits the ‘Enter’ button and after a short wait, a new page loads on the screen. He reads it aloud: “We’re sorry, but you have failed to qualify for ordination at this time. Please re-read the easily downloadable literature and try again in . . . four to six weeks?!”

“Yeah, that ain’t gonna work for us,” Kennedy says, barely able to contain her smirk. “You’re supposed to marry us in two weeks.”

“I don’t know how this keeps happening. I’ve failed to pass the requirements and test on three different websites now. Even a chimpanzee could get ordained online!” 

Xander looks like he’s about ready to pull his hair out of his head in frustration, so Faith decides to step in.

“It’s not that bad, Xan. I mean, it’s gotta be rigged or something . . .”

Her voice trails off when she sees Xander typing away furiously. When he holds up the laptop to show her a picture of a chimpanzee with a certificate of ordination proudly held in its furry little hand, she has to laugh.

“. . . alright, or maybe you’re just a dumbass,” she concedes.

“Look at the way he’s mocking me with his monkey certificate!” Xander complains. He allows himself just a few more moments to mope, then rallies. “I won’t be outdone by a monkey! I’ll find another place to ordain me. I’ll marry you and Willow if it kills me!”

**********

“I think Xander is probably going to kill himself trying to get ordained,” Willow says, openly giggling. “But I added a little bit of motivation to help see him through.”

“Uh-oh,” Buffy deadpans. “What did you do, Wills?”

“I used my super-sleuthy computer skills to insert a picture of a monkey with a certificate of ordination on the website he’s using this time. No way will Xander let himself be outdone by a monkey. I guarantee he’ll be ordained before the week is out.”

“So simple, yet so effective,” Buffy replies, laughing. “Well, while they’re tackling that obstacle, I guess we can finalize the plans for your bachelorette party and Kennedy’s . . . see, I’m lost again. Is it a stag? A bachelor party? I don’t know. This is so confusing.”

Willow laughs, but her smile goes from happy to nervous.

“Well,” she begins, “actually, we’re going to call it _finito_ , because there will be no bachelor party.”

“What?” Buffy replies, shocked. “I find it hard to believe that Kennedy would give up a night of shenanigans and bad behavior. For that matter, I find it hard to believe Faith would, either.”

“That’s because Faith doesn’t know yet. But it’s not what you think. There won’t be a bachelorette party, either.”

And that right there is enough to bring out the full-on Summers pout.

“But I already bought us the t-shirts! ‘Bride’ and ‘Bride Tribe’!”

“Well, we can still use them, I think,” Willow says sympathetically. “It’s just that, I know you were planning something great for us, but I’m pretty sure that what Faith was planning for Kenny would have resulted in divorce or STDs. So Kennedy and I talked it over and we decided to have a Doe and Doe party instead.”

**********

“A _what_?” Faith asks, her voice rising comically.

“A Doe and Doe,” Kennedy explains. “Sometimes the straights have a Buck and Doe party, where the bride’s friends and groom’s friends all get together and have one big party together. But for us, it’s Doe and Doe. The whole gang can be together and do something fun.”

Faith scoffs. “If you guys really thought I’d be down for that, you’re both do-do’s.”

“Come on. It’ll be good, I promise,” Kennedy replies, laughing.

“Yeah? You’re telling me that you choose fru-fru girly-girl night instead of the fun I had planned for us?”

“Uh, I think I choose a happy life with Willow over divorce and STDs,” Kennedy deadpans, then changes back to optimism. “It’s not gonna be lame. Sure, there’ll be less strip clubs and drunken brawling, but it’s still gonna be rowdy and fun. It’s the Thursday before the wedding, which will give us all a day to recoup before we say our I Do’s. Willow and I had some party ideas, but the majority of it came from Vi. She may look meek and innocent, but girlfriend has a wild streak and knows how to plan a party.”

Faith sulkily drops into the nearest chair and crosses her arms over her chest in protest. “I’ll believe it when I see it.”

**********

“They're never going to believe their eyes when they see this place," Vi gushes, taking one last spin around the closed club. She’s put this bachelorette together in record time, and damn if she doesn’t feel proud of herself. Even Faith is going to love this!

She heads over to the VIP lounge where she finds her girlfriend Macy moving another cocktail table between two plush leather sofas.

"Do you think we need more seating in here?" Macy asks, standing back to appraise the lounge.

Vi considers that and nods her head. "Maybe two more stools at the cocktail table in the corner."

Macy waves her hand and two stools slide over from the bar, stopping perfectly in place beside the table. Vi giggles, clearly impressed.

"Did I ever tell you how cool it is to date a witch?"

"You think that was cool?" Macy asks with an impish grin. "Then you're gonna love this."

She pulls a small pink vial out from her cleavage. When she shakes it, it sparkles and lights up like a glowstick. The smile on her face is a perfect mix of mischief and pride.

“I’ve been taking Willow’s courses long enough to be able to mix my own spells. Normally she’s not keen on us experimenting on our own . . . so she helped me out with this one. It’s perfect.”

“And she knows you’re planning on using it tonight?” Vi asks apprehensively.

“Yep, but she told me she’ll claim ignorance if anything goes awry. It’s basically just a failsafe to make sure everyone has fun. A bit of hedonism, a dash of exhibitionism, and just the right amount of courage to help with the shedding of inhibitions.”

Vi frowns at this. “I don’t know. It feels like we’d be tricking people into doing things they don’t really want.” 

“It’s exactly the opposite, babe,” Macy says earnestly, taking Vi’s hand in hers. “They’ll only be acting on things they really want to do. No unnatural compulsion. And what do people want to do at bachelorette’s?”

Vi smiles now. “Get fucked up and dance?”

“Bingo!”

“Then put that in the diffuser and let’s skedaddle. The club opens to the public in an hour, and we have just enough time to get back home and get ready before we have to be back here at nine.”

Macy does as she’s told, uncapping the vial and pouring it into a small black diffuser in the VIP area. She sets the timer for 9pm and grins as she looks over to Vi.

“This is gonna be so much fun.”

**********

“You know . . . this might actually be kinda fun,” Faith shouts over the music.

The club is loud, packed, and buzzing with an energy she hadn’t expected to feel at such a tame event. Everyone is cutting loose, and that is at least fifty percent of what she considers a good time. The other fifty percent includes less clothing, but even that doesn’t seem too far-fetched an idea right now; there are at least three slayers dancing with their shirts off, bras glowing bright under the blacklights on the upper dance floor. Dawn is cage-dancing, and Xander is either trying to get her down or join her. Faith isn’t sure which, and she really doesn’t care. Fun is fun, right? She takes in the entire scene with her elbows up on the bar and her back resting against it.

Buffy sidles up next to her and mimics her position, her tight white “Bride Tribe” t-shirt picking up a faint glow from the black lights, too. 

“Can’t exactly get in on the fun if you’re just standing here at the bar, you know.”

Faith looks over at her, a small smile playing on her lips. 

“Yeah? You here to give me party pointers, B?”

“In fact, I am. First, you have to do four shots to catch up to me.” At Faith’s raised eyebrow, Buffy adds, “You and I both know that neither of us is getting drunk off four shots. Kennedy made me do them to loosen me up. Now it’s your turn.”

“Shit, I’ll do twenty shots if it’ll loosen you up.” At Buffy’s laugh, Faith turns around and holds up eight fingers to the bartender. He heads right over and expertly lines up eight shot glasses and fills them without spilling a drop. Faith drops a few bills on the bar and then slides two of the glasses over to Buffy. “You know. Just to keep things even-steven.” 

“Of course,” Buffy replies. She waits for Faith to get to shot number five before joining in and drinking her own two shots. “Now that that’s out of the way, we have to dance. Party-pointer number two.”

“Can’t disagree with the party expert. Lead the way, B.”

Buffy takes Faith’s hands in her own and tugs her away from the bar, dancing her way backwards onto the dance floor.

From the VIP area, a soft pink mist spritzes up from the diffuser.

**********

“I’ve been maced!” Andrew shouts, nearly knocking over the cocktail table in the VIP area. He furiously wipes at his eyes and face while Willow and Kennedy laugh at him from the nearby sofa.

“Calm down, calm down,” Willow says. She stands up – albeit a bit wobbly – and uses her lime green feather boa to wipe off his face. 

He splutters around a mouthful of feathers and knocks her hands away when he realizes that his eyeballs aren’t actually melting out of his head. “What was I just spritzed with?”

“Strawberry scented room spray, mostly.”

“With a heaping spoonful of hedonism!” Kennedy adds, laughing raucously. 

“Or, you know . . . just strawberry-sented room spray,” Willow admits timidly. When Kennedy’s raucous laughter cuts off, she quickly adds, “We didn’t need the help of magic to have a great time tonight!”

Normally Kennedy is the argumentative type, but not tonight. It’s their bachelorette party. They’re getting married in two days and there’s no way in hell she wants to fight. Besides, everyone is having a blast. Even Faith has been dragged out to the dance floor and has forgotten that she’s not at a strip club.

“That’s ok, baby,” Kennedy says. She stands up and wraps her arms around Willow from behind and gives her a big, sloppy smooch on her cheek. “Doesn’t matter. Macy couldn’t keep it to herself anyway. Word of the spell got out and everyone is acting like they don’t have any inhibitions anyway. They’re all out there having a great, uninhibited time and they don’t even know it was a placebo!”

**********

“Wait, Macy put what in the air?” Buffy asks incredulously, her voice barely audible over the loud music.

“Hedonism!” Vi yells back. “It’s the pursuit of pleasure. And inhibitions are lowered too, so we’re all going to act on what we really, really want to do.”

A look of pure terror crosses Buffy’s face. She knows what this means. Alcohol allows them all to be flirty and fun without consequences. But pursuit of pleasure? Lower inhibitions? This has disaster written all over it. Disaster with consequences! She was ready to pose for silly pictures and dance in a cage and maybe even to play some bachelorette truth-or-dare, but this? Consequences. Consequences _everywhere_. 

She turns to bolt off the dance floor and into a safer, less sexy area – possibly a church – when she feels a pair of strong arms envelop her from behind. 

“Leaving so soon?” Faith murmurs into her ear. Her breath is warm and smells like whiskey, and it makes something flutter inside Buffy.

Deep, deep inside Buffy, repressed there safely and under what was supposed to several tons of immovable emotional baggage.

“Nope!” she says a little too excitedly. 

“Good, because you never finished giving me party pointers. What’s third?”

“Third?” Buffy asks, trying to buy herself some time here. “I’m pretty sure third comes after second.”

Faith laughs, “Glad to see your math skills don’t break down when you’re drinking. Third, B. What’s your third party pointer?”

Buffy turns around to face Faith and is instantly grateful when she sees Xander trying to climb into one of the dancing cages. 

“Never let your straight male friend cage dance in a room full of women he’s trying to woo!” she shouts.

She moves to run over and prevent Xander from making a total ass out of himself but is stopped by a soft hand around her wrist. Faith is grinning at her and Buffy grasps for her inhibitions. Dammit, Macy!

“B, if the guy’s greatest pleasure right now is to get up there and dance in that cage, let him.”

“Greatest pleasure, huh,” Buffy says doubtfully. Not that she doubts that Xander is going to love dancing in that cage. She learned a long time ago not to question his likes and turn-ons; it leads to a world of no. But the way Faith said that . . . it’s like she knows about the spell.

“Listen, whatever floats the guy’s boat. I don’t care.” She takes a step closer to Buffy and lowers her voice, still loud enough for Buffy to hear it but not anyone around them. “I know about the spell, B. And so do you. I’m willin’ to bet that’s why you looked like you were about to bolt a minute ago.”

“I was not going to bolt,” Buffy tries her best to sound confident.

“You were, but that’s cool ‘cause me and you have spent the better part of the last eight years bolting from each other.”

“Your point?” Buffy asks, falling into the slight sway Faith has started up. It’s so easy to fall into step with her.

“Maybe we don’t bolt this time. Maybe we don’t have to because . . . fuck those inhibitions, right?”

Buffy has to laugh at that. It’s so very, very Faith.

But maybe she’s right. They’re at a bachelorette party. There’s vaguely strawberry-scented magic in the air. Maybe there will be consequences, but how can they be held responsible? It’s magic!

Throwing caution to the wind, Buffy wraps her arms over Faith’s shoulders and starts moving to the beat.

“You’re right. Fuck those inhibitions.”

**********

“Screw inhibitions!” Xander shouts as he finally manages to wedge himself into the cage. He stands up on wobbly legs and . . . okay, wow. These cages are actually pretty high.

How do girls usually dance in these things? In heels, nonetheless! 

Still, Xander isn’t a quitter. He puts his hands on the bars and starts to shake his moneymaker. There are some cheers from the crowd, and surprisingly enough, not even a single jeer. Slayers are clapping, witches are shouting, and even the general public seems to be cheering him on. 

This is a piece of cake!

He lets go of the bars and does a spin, which throws him a bit off balance. He stops dancing just for a moment to collect himself, and in that moment, he looks down into the crowd and sees Buffy and Faith dancing together. No, not just dancing; grinding. 

No, not just grinding; kissing.

Lesbian sex fantasy #3 in progress!

This would be great . . . if he wasn’t on display up in a cage for the entire club to see! Blood is rushing to places that are inappropriate in public, so he takes an awkward bow and jumps down from the cage. He’s greeted by his new, adoring public who whisk him away to the bar for drinks and shenanigans. 

“This is the greatest night ever!” he shouts, earning a loud cheer from his new friends.

**********

“That was the greatest night ever,” Willow coos as Kennedy brings her a giant plate of pancakes.

It’s 2pm on Friday and they have nothing to do today but recover from their bachelorette and make sure everything is in order for their big day tomorrow. Andrew is handling most of those details; turns out that he is the best wedding planner since Jennifer Lopez.

“It really was, baby,” Kennedy agrees. “At least until tomorrow. Then that gets to be the best day ever.”

Willow smiles happily and tucks into her pancakes with vigor. “And I can’t believe you’ll be officially moved in here. It’s going to be our home. Our home together!

Kennedy laughs. “Well, yeah. But I’ve basically been living here for a year now. It’s a lot easier to have naked timed with you when there aren’t a few dozen sugared-up slayers running up and down the halls of the dorms.”

“And you’re ready to give up your private space there?”

“Hell yes I am,” Kennedy replies. “This is our life now, Willow. Together. In this apartment – this is where our family starts. Me and you.”

It’s sweet and romantic, and Willow has had enough with pancakes and is ready for some Kennedy. She grabs her fiancé by the shirt and pulls her in for a kiss, but they’re interrupted by a loud knocking at the door.

“Stay. Eat. I’ll get it,” Kennedy says. She gives Willow one more sweet kiss on the lips before heading for the door and opening it.

Buffy and Faith are on the other side, still dressed in their clothes from last night – though Buffy’s shirt now says “edirT ebirB”. Inside out? Kennedy smirks. Boy do they have some explaining to do! She’s about to pounce on that little tidbit when she notices how anxious they look.

“Xander’s not with you guys, is he?” Faith asks.

“Pfft. Not unless this is his lesbian sex fantasy #7,” Kennedy replies. “Why? What’s going on?”

Faith looks over to Buffy, who wrings her hands nervously.

“He’s missing. Xander’s missing.”


End file.
